A Nickel for Your Thoughts

 It’s #BellLetsTalk day. I don’t really feel like flooding my Twitter, Facebook, or Snapchat with inspiring little sayings. Depression sucks. Anxiety sucks. PTSD sucks. Bipolar disorder sucks. Not being able to concentrate on every day tasks sucks. 

Today I don’t feel like talking. Or advocating. Or saying yet again how horrendous our access to mental health care is in this province/country. I’m angry, depressed and tired of the platitudes and very small amount of action or changes. 

Thoughts and prayers don’t provide appointments or access to psychiatry, counselling or affordable medication. Even with health benefits I’ve had to try countless medications because one that might have worked really well cost way more than I could afford. Thankfully I’ve found a combination that helps and is covered under my drug plan. Helps, but doesn’t magically make depression, anxiety and the nightmares go away. 

This week has been rough, low moods, zero energy, racing thoughts that don’t wait for one to finish before the next one barges in, decreased appetite and increased compulsive spending. Another mixed episode. Which I’m just now realizing that’s what it is. 

I’ll read and “like” the posts people make with the hashtag or photo frame, because they’re so brave to share how mental health has affected their lives. Today might be the one day where they feel understood or maybe even feel a little more normal as they see others sharing their stories. I know I’m not alone in wishing we could talk about this more than one day a year. Some do throughout the year, and their voices are so important! The conversation has grown a lot louder even in the 10 years since this campaign began. Hopefully it won’t take another 10 years for access to mental health care in rural and remote areas to improve. 


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